present

"what a difference a year makes"
i read the text message from my friend, robin,
and realized that it has been a year since i was
diagnosed with cervical cancer.

a year ago, it didn't look good.
to say i was completely freaked out
is an understatement.

i had just gotten back from a week at the beach with my family.
i sat in my doctor's office, waiting for the results from my last visit.
she came in and hugged me,
her words "cancer", "deep-tissue", "aggressive", "rare", "lymph nodes"
were all garbled and far away.
"i have the name of a great oncologist"
who is she talking to?
"we need to get you an appointment right away."
is she saying i have cancer?
"i will tell dr. abbas you'll be calling, unless you have another doctor you prefer to see"
liam. paul. wait...what? 
i don't have a preferred oncologist. how would i know a good oncologist?
he will probably want to set up a plan of action right away.
am i sick? wait...
are you okay?
"yes. i am fine. no i don't need water. thank you. i'll see you later."

and then, the rest of my life started.

it still seems surreal that i am here,
that the past year ever happened.
i am grateful to actually feel my feet on the ground.
i feel relieved to be able to wrap around my sweet family.

i am so thankful to be cancer free.

life is short, people.
take nothing for granted.




*reposted from here.